Paying it Forward While Sleeping through the Night

The Back Story:

My wife recently cried out for help, as we were desperate to get some sleep, any sleep.  Our 14-month-old boy had been co-sleeping and nursing and no matter how many times we tried to break him of these habits, he would fight until he would throw up and we would cave.  

An average night was us rocking him to sleep by nursing, and rocking, and nursing, and rocking.  He would sleep from 9-11pm in his crib, then co-sleep with us taking over the entire cal king bed and nursing every 45 minutes.  Sound familiar?  My wife made a call out on a momma site and within hours received hundreds of responses.  We were willing to pay anything, but one lady gave us all the advice we needed and wanted nothing in return.

The advice we got from that mother of nine, with one on the way, worked on day one and has been the second greatest blessing in our lives, after our son of course.  When I mentioned it on Facebook, many asked for the advice and instead of calling everyone, I thought to better just write it out.

Weaning off the Boob:

We were advised to create our own "mother’s milk" by adding a small pinch of C&H light brown sugar to milk, warm it up and put it in his bottle. This creates a delicious taste, and even though he would not take it right away, after about 20 minutes of crying, he drank ever last ounce.  

Sleeping in his OWN Bed (Hallelujah!)

The first thing we were advised to do was to make his bed as comfortable as ours.  Why would any baby want to sleep in a cage, when they can sleep on a plush cal king size foam mattress?  So we broke down those walls.  You can either put the mattress right on the floor and make a little cave like atmosphere, or use a low to the ground bed with lots of pillows all around.  

We laid in that bed all day to get our sent embedded in the fibers.  We mimicked nap time to his sleep time and was told that even if he doesn't nap, at least try for the hour to keep him in his new cave.  At night, do the same, read stories, sing, tickle the chin, count to five on the fingers whatever it takes.  

The First Nap:

To my surprise, it worked wonderfully.  We tired him out by taking him to the park and I laid down with him in his new fortress for 20 minutes of fussing, then 20 minutes of relaxing by singing and reading, and then it happened, he dozed off for the first time ever without us rocking him to sleep!  Not only that, he slept for an hour and a half!

The First Night:

Along with the brown sugar and milk, for dinner we pureed some white rice in his sippy-cup to give him that extra full belly.  he ate decently well, but not really, took a long bath, and we did our same bed time ritual.  Then it happened he climbed to bed, I blocked all the exits with my body and he cried and cried.  My wife brought in the "Mother's milk" and we explained its from her, that her boobs are not working anymore, but he would not drink it.  We felt defeated.

Nonetheless I kept at it, tickled the chin, sang "Simple Man" over and over and read books, and alas within the hour he was asleep by 8:30!  Not only that, he slept comfortably until 1:00am.  The longest he has ever been asleep in his life.

Then he woke up!  I laid in bed with him, mom made some new milk, and the routine happened the same, he cried for 20 minutes, except this time, being so tired, he took the bottle, and drank every last ounce of that milk.  It was beautiful and he started drifting to sleep.

Then a major set back.  Mom came in to check, Alan woke up, stared right at her and started to cry all over again.  I told her "You ruined it, go back to sleep I've got it.  She replied with"I'm going to punch you in the face!"  (I'm telling you this part of our adventure because it is completely normal to freak out at this moment.)  My wife is so used to a routine and when she feels deflated and not able to comfort her ailing child, its very easy to become nervous.  Once again probably normal for a sleep deprived mom losing her reality.  While I was taking over for the night and hoping she would FINALLY get some sleep,  she wouldn't.  All she could do is stare at that monitor and feel helpless.

She left peacefully, our son cried for another 20 minutes, and then fell asleep.  He slept this time till 5am!

This time he woke up and was wide awake.  Momma came in and changed the diaper, (god bless her soul), and played with him till 7am; since now he was wide awake.  Then she noticed he was getting sleepy and decided to try to lure him to sleep on her own.  Despite her boobs being right in his face, she kept reminding him the factory was closed, and her milk is now in these bottles.  He drank a little, and slept for another two hours.

I am writing this out because this was one of the best nights of my life, and I feel for so many other families going through the same thing.  Hopefully, they can get peace of mind as we now have!  Make their bed cozier than yours and embed your scent so deeply in the fabric and you will all finally get some sleep!

How to Repair Education...Or At Least Where to Begin

Russian psychologist Lev Vygotsky once told the world that we learn best while observing or interacting with someone who is a bit more educated than we are.  This Zone of Proximal Development (ZPD) follows the idea that we gradually develop the ability to solve certain tasks without help when observing others.  This same philosophy is used in schools across the world 89 years later, because it works. 

           

At their desks, students are often paired with those close to them in skill to help create a maturing process that is neither overwhelming nor immature. Yet, if this concept works so well with our students, why aren’t we asking our teachers to do the same?

             

Colleges are using collaboration as a way to excel student learning.  Sure, schoolteachers have Professional Learning Communities (PLCs) in their schools to discuss ideas, but how do we tap in to the depth of knowledge that successful schools in New York, Texas, or Illinois are drawing from?

           

Being a teacher means being a life-long learner.  We are forever journeymen who shall always continue our quest to become better. Our education system cannot be patched together brick and mortar; it needs drastic change to become successful. 

To do this, every principal and teacher should be both a mentor, and apprentice.  Three times a year, a teacher should observe someone more educated and experienced than they are.  Someone less experienced should also observe them.  This not only holds teachers accountable to teach well, but it disperses knowledge quickly.  Teachers take those ideas they learned and bring them back to their schools, their PLCs, and diffusion occurs naturally.

The cost for three subs a year per teacher will not be extremely cumbersome for districts to fathom with.  This certainly is a cheaper way to conduct professional development days where districts pay some company thousands of dollars for the next “magic bullet” that will raise scores drastically. Not to mention only one teacher per grade can attend, and usually are not allowed to “share” the copywrited material.

We don’t need new curriculum, new computers, more teachers, or fewer students.  We need a platform to both hold teachers accountable, and disperse our knowledge from the ground up.  Top bottom approaches that companies offer simply do not work.  They are merely tools to use.

The ones teaching know how to teach best.  But that knowledge will never be accessed if they never leave the classroom.  These teachers in their isolated pods, I mean classrooms, are begging for networking via Twitter and Pintrist.  Le that process happen naturally, locally, and let teachers hold each other accountable to better improve and inspire us all.